"Dear God ..."

I had written a letter to God a year ago, then sealed it up & wrote on the envelope that it should not be opened up until a year later. I could not resist & while going through some mixed emotions last night, I opened it up & read it. In doing so, I realized that I am not the same person that I was over a year ago.

Jan. 25, 2008.

Dear God,

I don't ever want a man to hurt or violate me ever again. I am so scared that I will somehow let it happen. I want to be free from my past and the things that I have done which bring shame and guilt. They make me feel dirty and ugly. I feel like certain guys can play with my vulnerability and I somehow let them. I don't want to anymore. I want to be free from how all of that makes me feel. I don't want to feel unloved, threatened. I want to feel like a princess. I want to be treated like one. I want someone who will show me that they love me by encouraging me about everything that You have for my life, by talking with me about the things that matter to me. I want someone who will call occasionally just to let me know that I am on their mind. I want someone who will surprise me by coming out to my apt. without me knowing. I want someone who will take me to Your throne through the way he worships, lives his life, through his prayers. I want someone who will share his burdens with me. I want someone who knows that he wants me and will show that through him asking me to make the commitment of marriage with him. I don't want someone that I think everyone else will be pleased with. I want someone that I know You, Lord will be pleased with. So, show me, make it clear, Lord. Make it clear to the other individual involved as well (whoever he may be).

Oh, I want orange, deep orange flowers and dark chocolate, someone who can cook but won't mind me wanting to cook. I want someone who is handy to fix things around the apt./house, someone who can provide for me and take care of me physically and spiritually. I want someone that I can have a family with, share life with. I want someone who teaches me what "being together" truly means. I want someone who will call out Your name at any time, and will lead me to do the same no matter what we may be going through privately and together.

Alicia

*Dare to see His dreams for you come true.*