I wrote this to a dear fiend of mine as a somewhat, source of comfort, hopefully. I wanted to share it with anyone else who may need it right now or knows someone else who does!
"... I very much enjoy meeting new people and making new friends but am very aware of the ones that have been with me and allowed me to be with them through various transitions in their lives ... not every friend is one you can do that with, and not every friend you thought that you could do that with turns out being that kind of a friend. The realizations and reality of life as we know it, here on earth. The truth still hurts, but it doesn't make it any less true.
Oh, how I miss you too. Believe it or not (this might sound corny as hell) but knowing that I'm not alone in that helps me to keep going, not to act on anything drastic just because I may be feeling that alone-ness (not loneliness, but alone-ness) there's a huge difference in the meanings. And that maybe, just maybe I was meant to pass on to other people the sense of community I had been given that changed my life, so others' lives could be changed too ... Honestly, that is the strength behind why I wake up every morning, even after so many times of not wanting to engage the world or the people in it. Most days I step out not for myself but for others, for what God might use my life to do in that day and almost every day it gets reciprocated to me in some way, shape or form, and I am always convinced that it's God's way of letting me know that He is watching, He is listening, He really does know ME, value me and my heart, and hears its innermost desires. That''s comfort enough not for me to do anything impulsive or stupid, even though it may take (and I'm still in the process of) gradually being re-filled or getting my sense of hope back."
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